Thursday, February 3, 2011

Blades of Fury

Question:  What is the one piece of equipment that can add multiple planes of danger to any movement (alcohol is not equipment, it is a supplement) and does not require ammunition?  Give up?  Rollerblades.

" shit about my blades one more time and I will cave your skull in with my cane you fucking commie."
- Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States to Richard Lawrence before beating him to death with a cane while wearing rollerblades on the senate floor.

It's as true today as it was in 1833, Rollerblades both invite danger and cause all movements to become much more dangerous.  Double whammy.
Basically, if you're wearing blades you'd better be ready to fight and for good reason, those things are fucking gay.  A day spent in blades will heighten one's senses, you never know where the next rock will be thrown at your head from, you will learn to avoid large crowds and always have at least two exit routes planned out.
The other side of the Rollerblade coin is of course their inherently dangerous lack of friction.  A simple clean and jerk performed in blades will punish the lifter unless perfect balance is maintained.  It will also add about 3" to your first pull which is nice.

Danger WOD:  The Danger WOD Rollerblade Total

To score your Danger WOD rollerblade total, add the scores of all 3 events together for a total score.  Score weight in kilos and height in inces.  1 inch is equal to 1kg in scoring.  Scores do not count if you lose your balance or roll off the platform.

Roller Snatch 1RM

Roller Clean & Jerk 1RM

Roller Box Jump - Max Height

Roller Bonus:  Score by accuracy X drinks

You will need a truck, rollerblades, semi-automatic weapon (your choice), tow rope, tequila.

Set up 6 targets, no more than the size of a soup can along the side of a road.
Attach tow rope to truck.
You have 10 min. to drink as many shots of tequila as possible before being towed at the speed limit of what ever road you chose behind the truck and to shoot the targets while moving.

Use strategy here, each drink and each hit target is a multiplier so it may be better to drink more and hit less or vice versa.  Find your sweet spot of drunken roller shooting.

Also, thanks to those of you who sent in applications/resumes for the Danger Ops team.  You are some weird/scary people and I like it.  Look for a future post expanding on the Danger Ops Team.

No comments:

Post a Comment