Asshole WOD

Krystof 

Some workout sites have hero WODs, here at Danger WOD we have Asshole WODs.  Workouts honoring the huge assholes also known as Danger WOD pioneers.  Without their efforts, pushing the danger envelope for both themselves and innocent bystanders we would not be where we are today.  Today's WOD is in honor of Krystof Azninski.  As the story goes, Krystof, a Polish farmer, was doing the only thing Polish people do when not being invaded by Germany; drinking copious amounts of Vodka.  Naturally, after downing several bottles of the clear stuff Krystof and his buddies decided to strip naked and play "men's games" (no jokes about polish sausage fests, that would be in bad taste).  The games began with the men hitting each other over the head with frozen turnips.  A classic Polish parlor game.  Soon, the danger ante was upped when one man used a chainsaw to cut off part of his foot.  Not to be outdone, Krystof grabbed the chainsaw and cut his own head off.  Krystof is now widely regarded as a Polish folk hero and is considered by scholars to be among the greatest examples of Polish balls.  Possessing the mental fortitude to never be out done and to saw your way through your own neck are attributes that every Danger WOD enthusiast should aspire to.  If you're tough enough to cut your own head off with garden tools, you're tough enough to rape a grizzly bear, punch a child in the face or any of the more common everyday needs for toughness.

Danger WOD Krystof:  AMRAP (as many rounds as possible period before you pass out) 

Drink 1 bottle of vodka.  Strip naked.  Run outside into the snow and forage for a frozen vegetable.  Run back inside and hit yourself over the head with vegetable.  Amputate one of the smaller/less useful parts of your body.  I do not recommend actually cutting your own head off.  While it is very tough, the recovery time from decapitation is quite long and may have an overall negative effect on your training.